Everything GLAM does is for your best interest. Citizens who are thinking of becoming first time parents need to understand this one simple concept and follow GLAM Squad's own personal guide to raising an ideal child in our perfect, peaceful, and happy world. First off, from the moment your child is born, you will hand them off to the Glam Squad members where they will be taken to get “glammed up.” Shortly after, we will hand them back to you and your new child will be a perfect, free from all sin, citizen. Then one of course, from the moment your child is born, you must teach them that all creative thinking is forbidden (not to mention illegal). If at any time, your child -or any citizen for that matter- is caught for thinking too creatively, they will right away be considered an “ugly,” no matter what the age. Such forbidden creative actions that you must stray your child away from includes: drawing, painting, reading of literature not approved of by the glam squad, listening/singing to banned music, dancing, playing an instrument, and so on and so forth. These activities creates children to have too much of an imaginative mind, causing them to question motives, and will therefore threaten the safety of this country. The ultimate goal from birth is to think pretty (uncreatively), and look pretty (like Kim Kardashian).
Next, parents must enroll their children in GLAM School at age 6, and must also start their children in the GLAM Service Program. Schools ultimate job is to teach your child how to live life “prettily;” preparing them with everything they need to know in order to pass the Pretty Test that's given at age 18. Aside from that, you need to make sure that your child participates in GLAM Services, where they do nothing but help the community. Such activities include: picking up trash around the town, helping in local beauty contest, baking for the GLAM Squad, and so on and so forth. Everything and anything a citizen does in this country is to please the GLAM Squad. When the GLAM Squad is happy, the country is happy.
The most important day of your child’s life is their 18th birthday; because that is the day they are officially sworn into the GLAM community as either a pretty adult☺or as an ugly adult ☹. You will issue your own child's test on the day of their 18th birthday, and you will be watched at every moment while your child completes the exam. This will determine their entire future. If your child passes this test, it means they will live the rest of their life rich, and in complete bliss and solace. However, if your child fails this test, meaning they think too creatively, then they will be considered an ugly and shunned from their entire family and community. You will look down upon your own child if they become an ugly and you will have to throw them out like garbage, where they will starve and live the rest of their life in poverty. Now we know this is not what any parent wants for their child, so simply don’t let your children think like Albert Einstein or Martin Luther King Jr., because those are terrible citizens who are shunned by everyone. We will take care of all the thinking, so like our idol Kim Kardashian says, “Don’t think, let other people do that for you” and also, “Never wear the wrong foundation color.”
As we stated at the beginning of this guide, GLAM’s sole purpose is to do what is best for you and the citizens of the country. Therefore, if you can follow these simple steps when raising a child into this glamorous world, then your child will become an ideal citizen, you won't have to worry about anything, and the GLAM Squad will continue to share its generosity. Think how we think, do what we tell you to do, and we promise that this country will be nothing but paradise to you and your family. ✨
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